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Letters from the switchboardGuests 18+

Letters from the switchboard, on the rooms and streets an evening passes through

Letters are where Delphine writes down, at greater length and with more care, what she would otherwise put into a single message. Each one begins with a question a guest has actually asked the switchboard: which way a companion should come through the door, where to spend the hour before a dinner, what lounge suit means on an invitation that arrived that morning. The answers are practical, particular to the West End and SW1, and written for somebody who is in London now or will be shortly.

The first ten cover the ground that most evenings here actually pass over. There are hotels, from the new house on Hanover Square to the panelled bar in the old hospital at Hyde Park Corner. There are dining rooms, among them the Mayfair rooms where a Dover sole still comes off the bone beside the table, and a Belgravia landmark whose floors are dark this autumn and which is described honestly for that reason. There are the practical matters, the three ways a companion arrives and the road from Heathrow to Notting Hill. And there are the afternoons: an hour among the lots on Berkeley Square, and a suit begun on Savile Row.

Nothing in them is paid for, and no hotel, restaurant or bar named in them has any arrangement with this house. Places are described as they are. The prices on other people's menus are left out, because they change, and where a room has closed or changed hands the letter says so rather than pretending otherwise. Where a letter touches on an evening with a companion, the only figures are those on the tariff, from £250 for an hour, and the fee is handed to her in person when she arrives.

Read them in any order. Each ends where an evening might begin, with the names in the Salon who suit it best, and each is revised whenever something it describes has changed. If your question is not answered here, send it to the switchboard; it may very well become the next letter.

Portrait of Tina, brown eyes, long espresso brown hair, London Tina, Albemarle Street

Letters

10 guides in Letters

Portrait of Tina, brown eyes, long espresso brown hair, London016 minute readA suit begun on the Row in the first days of a visitHow many fittings a bespoke suit needs, why the first appointment belongs in the opening days of a stay, how the houses finish a suit and send it abroad, and why good company turns an errand into a pleasure.Read it Portrait of Karolina, brown eyes, long black hair, London026 minute readAn hour among the lots on Berkeley Square, with no intention of biddingThe auction house on Berkeley Square opens its rooms to anybody in the days before a sale. How the viewings work, what the evening sales are, and how to spend an hour among the lots with neither a paddle nor a plan.Read it Portrait of Patricia, brown eyes, long auburn hair, London037 minute readAnnounced, met or expected: the arrival settled before anyone sets outThree arrivals make three different evenings. Which suits a grand hotel, which a mansion block with a porter and which a mews house, and why the choice is written down before anybody leaves home.Read it Portrait of Lea, hazel eyes, long auburn waves, London046 minute readBehind the Doric columns of Motcomb Street, a building between eveningsA columned storehouse of the 1830s that became the one Belgravia building able to hold a whole evening. What each floor was for, why its doors are shut this autumn, and where to go in the meantime.Read it Portrait of Samanta, brown eyes, long dark brown hair, London056 minute readFifty rooms on an old square: one group's second London houseA red brick house of fifty rooms on Hanover Square, a few steps from the Elizabeth line. What it suits, how a night there differs from its older sister on the park, and how an overnight is arranged.Read it Portrait of Laura, green eyes, light brown hair, London066 minute readFrom the arrivals hall to W11: the road, the rails and the honest minutesWhy Notting Hill is one of the few districts where the car from Heathrow usually beats the train, when the change at Paddington wins instead, and honest door to door minutes for each, luggage included.Read it Portrait of Nancy, blue eyes, long blonde hair, London companion076 minute readLounge suit, decoded: the dress code that asks less than it seems toThe most misread line on a London invitation, decoded for a weekday dinner in W1: tie or no tie, which colours, which shoes, and what the woman beside you will wear so that the two of you read as one party.Read it Portrait of Luna, brown eyes, dark auburn red hair, London086 minute readThe last glass of the evening, poured in a panelled room at Hyde Park CornerA panelled room at Hyde Park Corner with one of the deepest cognac lists in London. How the old bottles are poured and priced, how to order from them, and why the room suits the end of an evening, not its start.Read it Portrait of Angelika, brown eyes, composed, London companion096 minute readThe sole, the spoon and the waiter: the safest order at a first dinnerA fish taken off the bone beside your table tells you more about a dining room than its menu does. Where Mayfair still does it properly, what the price reflects, and why it is the safest order at a first dinner.Read it Portrait of Liana, brown eyes, chestnut brown hair, London106 minute readWhy a good dinner begins an hour before anybody sits downThe table is the middle of an evening, not its beginning. Why a dinner booked from the reservation arrives cold, and how opening an hour earlier at a quiet bar near Berkeley Square improves all that follows.Read it

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Guests are 18+ without exception. A fee is for time and companionship only, and the whole tariff is on the rates page.